Private Feelings
by AWdgm
Summary: FULL summary inside! My first D.Gray Man fan fiction ever so please DO leave me reviews. I want to know how do you readers think before I want to write a series.This is a Seme!Kanda and Uke!Allen fanfic. WARNING!Fake hatred and a little, tiny LaviAllen!


**Author's Notes:**

_This is my first Yullen yaoi. I have always been in love with the anime, D. Gray Man. Instead of writing yaoi fan fictions for my favorite pairing, I end up writing Naruto yaoi (SasuNaru) and Vampire Knight (KaZe). Hence, I have decided to write a one-shot for my favorite D. Gray Man pairing! Please review me after reading. Thank you. _

**End of Author's Notes…**

**Summary:**

_Kanda and Allen never get along. They fight or argue every time they see each other's face. Even when the other's presence is not around, they still feel grumpy when the other's name is mentioned. Years passed and nothing had ever changed… Well, that's what everyone in the Black Order thinks. Deep down, they don't hate each other. In fact, they are in love with each other and they only show their affection towards each other in private. _

**End of Summary…**

"…"

"…"

"How long do you two want to glare at each other's face?" Lavi asked with a big yawn. Leenalee sighed and folded her arms in front of her chest. Her eyes never left her two comrades, too afraid that they might fight again actually. "Why do you two hate each other so much?" Lavi asked again.

However, since the two exorcists were too focused on their rivals face, Lavi's words were not heard. The last time the two of them, along with Lavi and Leenalee were placed on a mission, the two of them almost destroyed the town because of Kanda's arrogant and hot temper although Allen was the one badmouthed the Japanese. "Can't you take a joke, Yu kun?" Lavi asked in a teasing tone when Leenalee has managed to calm the two boys down. Okay, maybe that's the real reason why Kanda snapped is not purely on the English boy.

They are in the train, heading towards their destination…which would take about 1 day. They are currently in the First Class Seating Carriage, which is also where two exorcists are having a stare…umm…glaring competition. It seemed to the remaining two comrades that the two boys will not stop until one has burned a hole in their faces. What were the two fighting for? It was simply because they didn't want to sit facing each other.

"Humph… Get out of my sight, Bean Spout."

"My name is Allen. Can't you remember your comrades' names, Bakanda?"

"You…! Baka moyashi!" Allen skillfully dodged Kanda's attack.

Allen had activated his Crowned Clown while Kanda had his Mugen and in the position of attacking. Before the Japanese got another chance to cut the English, Leenalee cuts in with a loud, shrieking "URUSAI". The two boys immediately silence although they still have that irritated look. The red haired boy just sighed and thought mentally, 'What an international community the Black Order is… Everyone knows multiple languages.'

"We are on a train, guys." Lavi reminded them as the Chinese girl calmly returned to her seat with her arms folded and her face showing nothing but irritation. "Unless you want to get screwed by Komui for another unnecessary payment…and for making his dear Leenalee cry, you two better stop…or you guys want to deal with a pissed off girl."

Well, the Komui part did the trick. The two exorcists calmed and switched their attention, away from each other of course (now Allen took the seat close to the windows while Kanda's close to the exit). Leenalee sighed in relief and took the empty seat beside Kanda and glanced at the outside view. Lavi jumped into the seat beside Allen and began to talk about some history Bookman told him before when he was still young and in training.

Allen, who was listening to the red haired, grew bored after hours of his comrade's nonstop babbling. Leenalee had already fallen asleep as soon as Lavi began talking. The white haired boy gave a yawn and let his eyes lid close, his senses shutting from all exposures.

"And then, the King… Allen, are you even…eh? Leenalee... N-No way, you…?" Before Lavi even got to finish his sentence, he was too caught up by the leaning Cursed Boy. Allen had fallen asleep on the red haired exorcist's shoulder, Lavi realized. The Bookman Jr. was touched to see such a peaceful look on his comrade; the look suddenly attracted his attention, for some unknown reason. He could feel himself drawing closer…and closer.

"You're so annoying and loud, Lavi." The red haired exorcist jumped upon hearing the dangerous voice. His attention immediately turned to the front, where Kanda was.

"K-Kanda, you are awake!" Bookman Jr. gave a nervous gulp when the exorcist in front of him gave him a death glare, giving him an I'm-going-to-kill-you look, little did Lavi knew, the raven is not pissed because the Bookman Jr. woke him up.

**O.O**

By the time the exorcists arrived at the destination, it was already night time. They decided to check in at the cheapest motel first before they check the town out. It seemed that there is a festival going on and there might be Akumas hiding among the people. Yet, Allen told them that he was unable to detect any Akumas' presence in the town. Lavi was the one insisting that they should still walk around the town. It could be the Innocence's power that held Akumas out of the town.

"It could be Innocence's power that causes this unusual harmony and peace," Lavi said. Everyone, even Kanda who is still in anger mode nodded in agreement.

"Strange…" Leenalee said while they are walking towards their respective rooms. Of course, none of the boys were disagreeing. "How could there be so many rooms available when there is big festival held? We even got them for free…"

"According to the innkeeper," Allen, who was in deep thought, added, "It is as if there were no travelers ever entered this town on festivals… It should be the other way round normally…" Everyone nodded in agreement.

"I guess I will check out the festival," Lavi declared. Before he entered his room, he heard Leenalee saying that she would be coming along. "…W-WHAT?" Bookman Jr. stared at the only female exorcist in the team.

"Our last mission, you told me you were checking out the festival held in the town central but when I arrive there, I saw you were enjoying yourself with a few ladies." Leenalee gave the boy a dark look before she closed the door.

"Leenalee…you are such a devil…" Lavi mumbled in annoyance. Allen just gave him an I-can't-believe-you-actually-did-that look and entered his room. The red haired exorcist swore he saw the anti-social Japanese exorcist smirked darkly when he entered the room! A smirking Kanda… Perhaps he should be in the festival for the rest of the night just to be safe… He slept while they were still in the train anyway.

**O.O**

It was already around three in the morning but laughter and music can still be heard outside the walls. The white haired exorcist can't really sleep because of the noise and the bright lights outside his window. Allen sighed and stared blankly outside his window. He can see a glaring Leenalee walking through a sea of crowds to get to certain someone: Lavi who is dancing and flirting with the young ladies. Falling for women so easily… The young English boy sighed. Lavi is lucky they are all humans and not Akumas in disguise.

"Maybe Kanda is still awake…."

And perhaps he would like to check the town out with him. Although he has no high hopes of his remaining comrade agreeing, he still went to his room and knocked.

"Kanda, may I come in?"

Waited for half a minute without any reply, the white haired boy entered the room. Almost immediately when he stepped into the pitch black room, his silver grey eyes met with a pair of deep obsidians. A strong grip pulled the younger exorcist by force and locked the door. Then, Allen was pushed towards the door while his lips were attacked by the other pair.

Forcefully but with no luck, the younger exorcist failed to push Kanda away. The Japanese only deepened the kiss and shoved his tongue forcefully into his rival-cum-lover's mouth. Until both of them were nearly out of air, the older exorcist slowly pulled away, not without stealing a few kisses on those lips he had longed for.

"Kanda…" _Didn't we agree that we will not do it during missions?_ The white haired boy chose to keep quiet because he received an annoyed glare from his lover.

"6 months… It had been 6 months since we last did it and we never get any paired missions together." Kanda whispered. His mind replayed the scene he witnessed on the train. That son of a bitch was about to kiss his lover… His growled in anger at the memory and Allen has no idea what his secret lover is so angry about.

"Well unless we stopped acting as if we hate each other's guts in public, I doubt Komui will pair both of us up again," the English boy said as embraced his secret lover and confessed as he buried his blushing face in the Japanese's toned chest, "I missed you."

The scowling face revealed a rare gentle smile as the older exorcist replied, "I missed you too." In one quick swift movement, the taller man has his lover carried in bridal style in his arms as they gaze in each other's eyes in admiration as Kanda walks towards the King-sized bed.

**O.O**

"Ah…! Don't…stop, stop teasing me, bastard!" the younger exorcist pouted in annoyance. He is already aroused and in serious need but his lover is denying his wants and continues with his administrations and kisses on every inch on the soft skin. "Kanda…" The both of them had no idea when their comrades will return and he knew his lover would not like to be caught in the act…the main reason why they always just had quick fucks just to reveal their affection towards each other once in a blue moon… Is that why is he being so slow and passionate tonight? He knew not and he was desperate to know too.

Kanda said nothing. It means being weak if he told the Englishman what happened in the train. He did not want to recall the bad memory and neither he want to hear his lover speak of the other males. If he had to reveal this private feeling to the whole world in order to mark this man underneath him his for eternity, he would not hesitate to do so. This boy had meant the world to him ever since they had gotten closer through years. No, he will never release these hands. The younger boy stared at the older one with curious eyes.

"I love you, Allen," Kanda confessed and kissed the said man with passion and love, and he promised to himself, _with all my heart. _

"I love you too."

The night is peaceful and calm but it is crowding and lively in the town square. The two secret lovers are able to hear each other's breathing crystal clear. At this special moment, they are not caring even if the Earth is rotating or not. This is their private moments reserved for each other and they reveal their feelings openly for they did not know when they will get another chance again.

The Japanese gives feather light kisses on Allen's chest and stomach, even the younger lover's hardening erect manhood. The pleasure received was returned with soft yet sweeter than honey moans and inconsistent whispers of his last name…_Yuu_. The name he was given to, the older exorcist loved how his lover calling out for him, "Yuu…more, please. I need you so much…"

Kanda chant his lover's name over and over as he trusts into Allen. The younger male has never been treated so gently and loving before felt like it was an impossible came true. Yes, Allen had loved the Japanese and longed to be loved equally much… If tomorrow is the end of the world, he has no regrets. His arms which are holding onto Kanda's shoulders had wrapped themselves around the hair draped sweaty neck.

As Kanda felt he is coming close, he pumped on the English's erect hard on and genuinely increased speed. The younger exorcist gasped and moaned his lover's name in surprise at the harder and rougher trusts. Panting and sweet moans are echoing back by the sound proof walls and they did not realize the bright, luminous had gone off, leaving the windows view only a quiet, peaceful and usual town night. As the crowds are slowly leaving the cleared town square worn yet delighted, just like the fellow exorcists on their way back through the sea of crowds, the two lovers reached their climax.

The white haired boy had literally screamed the Japanese's name when Kanda shoved his length as deep as he could into his lover's entrance and released the hot, milky semen inside. Allen came too, as his inner walls twitch at the contact of the hot liquid. The younger lover collapsed onto his lover's chest immediately after the thrill, leaving the older man chuckled when he realized Allen had already enter the dreamland.

**O.O**

There is a long silence at the dining table and the only sound can be heard was he clinking of plates stacking up and the chef's busy cooking from the kitchen. The white haired boy's ass ached and he was unable to move the whole morning. It had been 6 months since they done it and they didn't even use a lube yesterday…something that made Allen regret going to his lover bare-handed yesterday. He actually had brought a lube with him! Out of kindness and guilt, the Japanese carried his lover bridal style to the cafeteria early in the morning so their comrades would not notice.

"…Basically, the two of you were too much entertained until you totally forgot about the mission," The Japanese concluded after his mind has compiled all the information gathered from the sulking two exorcists.

"Well mission failed, so what should we do now?" Allen asked curiously while having his 10th plate of pancakes…

"The innkeeper told us there will be another event tomorrow," Lavi said, "I guess we can stay for few more days…" the Chinese girl glared at something the red haired boy whispered to himself which only she, who is beside him can hear.

"What event they are celebrating tomorrow?" Allen asked as he chowed down his 12th plate, this time with strawberry syrup. He almost choked on his last bite when he heard Leenalee's answer and certain Japanese was giving an evil smirk.

"It's Valentine's Day."


End file.
